"I NEED TO MOW THAT DOOR . . . "

         "When my teenage daughter threatened suicide, my world turned upside down", the client said.  "For a couple of years we had known that she was 'troubled' but figured that, for the most part, these  behaviors were part of being an adolescent."  That all changed on the Spring afternoon when the daughter specifically threatened self-destruction and fled their house.  Disappeared !   Several hours later,  she called from a friend's house, talking nonchalantly as if the events of a few hours earlier had never occurred. Somehow, they were able to coax her home,  alerted the police who transported the daughter to a local hospital where a child psychiatrist determined that indeed for her safety hospitalization was mandated.

    The days that followed became a blur of tasks, details, 'have to's' with many routine chores falling unattended, such as mowing the grass. Consequently, the front lawn which was already grown up at the time of the tumult, had grown well past the point of needing attention.  Three days after the crisis, entering the  the driveway  the father in his peripheral vision caught a glimpse of the high grass.  Parking the automobile in front of the large sliding  garage door, he remarked, "I need to mow that door". The incongruity of having conflated the two scenes  prompted his immediate laughter.

    When the client told that story, I immediately knew that stress
does funny (not necessarily humorous ) things to our brains.  I thought of that story this week when two other clients who have recently experienced family deaths told me that they were having difficulty remembering and feared that it indicated 
the onset of some form of dementia.  In their cases, such a diagnosis is highly unlikely.  

   Loss is usually experienced on several levels of our very being ---including physical functions.  Among the effects can be short-term memory issues.  It also follows that if grieving is allowed and expressed, at some point memory and other brain functions return to 'normal'.  Along the way, basic A,B, C's of self care need to be observed:  adequate rest, good nutrition, etc. 

   Occasions of 'mowing the door' I hope will not aggravate our grieving.
     
   Satchel

The story is true.  Details have been modified for privacy/confidentiality.