"I'm going to pay attention to the view through the windshield and not be looking in the rear view mirror." A client was reflecting on his intended response to his former wife's desertion and decision to divorce. He used this automobile metaphor to describe how he planned to approach his future ... by looking ahead without undue preoccupation with their past.
Acknowleding his need for a 'clean windshield' , he further decided that he could not navigate life relying primarily on the mirror of the past. As a therapist, I think it's necessary to ask whether we can learn from 'what's back there' while avoiding 'living in the past'. A former church member learned to drive when in her 80's. At her funeral, I said that her always avoiding the reverse gear was the perfect description for how she had lived.
The Danish theologian, Soren Kierkegaard, claimed that life could be understood only by looking backwards but had to be lived looking ahead. Maybe that is a good approach. Avoiding 'learning from the past' risks head-on collisions in the present. Car mirrors do warn us that "OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR". Too much nostalgia, a homesickness for the past, can blur and distort reality of the 'right now'. Having once been an academic historian, I have observed many instances when a longing for 'the good old days' led to disastrous conseqences, for individuals and for entire nations. Often for their own benefit, individuals and groups deliberately misrepresent matters from the past. Examples abound in partisan politics, especially around election times.
Maybe the 'meaning' of windshields and rear-view mirrors has to do with balance --- an honest appraisal of the past and a clear view of what is ahead of us.
Satchel
Great one, Satchel!!
ReplyDeleteBeen waiting for my Satchel fix. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBack in the 60's, while trying to practice my driving skills in our rather small front yard, I managed to back into a bush. While pulling forward to see if I had done any damage, I ran into the telephone pole in the yard. Yikes!! I got out and saw no obvious damage. A couple of weeks later, Daddy took the car to have the oil checked and they couldn't fit their hand under the hood to hit the lever to lift it. Daddy called Mama to see if anyone had hit anything and I heard the telephone conversation so I had to "fess" up. While my assessment of the damage had been incorrect, apparently I had pushed the bumper upward so that it made it very difficult to raise the hood. Of course I was worried about being in trouble, but when Daddy got home, all he said to me was "Always watch where you're going, not where you've been". I have never forgotten that and have applied it to life on many occasions. I try to let it serve as a rear view look so that I always know what is behind me, but I go forward with more attention to that direction.
ReplyDelete1. My wife and I are both historians and few things light up our day more than encountering a situation where the here-and-now is amplified by knowing what went before ... how we got to where we are. I once informed the current owner of a home that a previous owner had had 13 children. His eyes widened and remarked, "So that's why there are so many bedrooms!"
ReplyDelete2. One of the things we speak about often is how we busily document such things as vacation settings with photos, yet rarely document events that occupy far more of our time ... such as time at work. My father had the same job ... one he loved ... from 1948 through 1966, yet there are exactly three photos of him at his job and two of those were taken by a newspaper photographer for articles.
3. Our history of seeking out such photos has made us more aware of the present. I have had both my children work at my business and several who we call our "adopted" children have as well. I have taken photos of all of them, but even in this day of continual picture snapping, I have never seen one of them take a photo in what several have described as their first "real" job.
Live for the future, but see how it connects with the past AND pause to think that what is NOW will SOON be the past!
Art