NONSENSE !!

         I have found that there is often much wisdom in bumper stickers.  I like "I may be getting old, but I refuse to grow up" and "Old Age is not for Sissies".  But yesterday I saw one that made me (as a psychotherapist) cringe:  "Too blessed to be depressed." Having sat with numerous clients struggling with clinical depression, I find the notion that  depression is a choice to be worse than cruel and shaming. And I detected even a tone of self-righteousness and self-congratulations in the sentiment. Even 'persons of faith' experience variations of the 'Dark Night of the Soul'.  

    Yes, there are steps that one might take with the hope of  decreasing the pain ( and, painful it can be).  I remember an acronym that my own counselor, Vernon Wall,  offered me back in the 1970's when I was skirting the edges of a funk:

MACE:

   M = medication, if indicated.  And, anti-depressants (unlike some psychotropic meds) do not carry the likelihood of 
addiction.  Moreover, since the advent of SSRI's, the efficacy of anti-depressants is significantly improved.
  
   A=  activity.  Move.  Not as in 'train like an Olympic athlete', 
but put the body in motion, do something, even if we do not 'feel like doing it'.   Or as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has it, 'you can not feel your way into new modes of behavior, but you can behave your way into new ways of feeling'.  Modifications in brain physiology that follow consistent exercise and activity can improve mood.

   C= counseling. Hearing oneself talk aloud with someone else often brings new, life-changing awareness and behaviors.

   E= education.  There is no monolithic entity called 'depression'.  Rather, there is a great range of presentations.
Awareness of those variations can offer relief for many who fear 'the worst'.

     As a novice writer, I am often surprised  at how a post seems to take on a life and direction of its own, regardless of my original intent.  Thus it is with this one.  My intent was to 
indicate some of the 'sayings', folk-wisdom, and cliches that I find to be 'non-sense'.  The one about 'too blessed . . .' was but the most recent.  Among other 'nominees', I would include these one-liners:

     ...BIG BOYS DON'T CRY.  Instead, there often are coronaries, ulcers, violent rages, etc.  Visit Rosie Greer's YouTube rendition of  "It's Alright to Cry" for a healthier perspective.

     ...TIME HEALS ALL  WOUNDS.  The passage of time alone means only that 'the clock is ticking'. What occurs during the time is what matters.


     ...I DON'T GET MAD; I GET EVEN.  And, thereby, increase the likelihood of fueling the fire of escalation.

   ...ALL 'OLD PEOPLE' ARE JUST ALIKE.  There is as great a variation of interests, intelligence, activities, and mobility, etc. among the 65 and older cohort as with any other 'age bracket'. Shuffleboard and Bingo can be 'fun'; many of us have other interests.   Often such comments are thin masks of someone's own fear of aging.

    ...YOU'LL GET OVER IT  ('IT' often meaning a death or other significant losses).  At best, we learn to adapt in new ways but to  act as if the loss is insignificant is worse than nonsense.  We will 'walk' again, but it will be with a 'limp'.

And, one last one (though there are lots more that qualify as 'nonsense'):

    ...I AM SELF-SUFFICIENT.  To put this into 'religious' jargon, such is 'idolatry'.  I prefer 'self reliant'...I can rely upon myself to seek out the things I need for life but cannot provide for myself.  Frederick Buechner has a character in a novel observe: "We was cripples all of us . . .'To lend each other a hand when we're falling. . . .Perhaps that's the only work that matters in the end.' " *

    Satchel


*Cited in Listening to Your Life,  p. 76


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