"IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD"

     Last Saturday, when entering a nearby restaurant, I asked for a quieter section because too much ambient noise becomes a roar with my hearing aids.  The  host made a joke about the infirmities attendant with his nearly 65 years; being just shy of 78, I congratulated him on his youth.  Then he uttered the well-worn cliche about old age just being in our head.  At that point, I had a revelation: "Well, not in our head alone but the head seems to be a significant focal  point of the aging process."

    "All in your head": Let's see . . . there is the TOP : 'some Hair turns gray, some turns loose and some does both'. (And some is colored and often with vibrant colors !)  Our dad was somewhere in between the 'gray' and 'loose'.  He resourcefully managed to maximize covering his pate with the limited  hair he had.  But since hair endowment comes from the mother's genes, my brothers and I have been able to retain ample covering. The beard that I recently began has, however, a different hue than those of a few years ago. The color on top and of our beards has changed significantly for two of us brothers.  How the youngest has managed to stay with original issue is a mystery.

    "All in your head":  THE EARS:  the little computers that I wear in my ears certainly help but there are limits, especially in crowded spaces, like restaurants.  After dinner with 5 of our friends last week, I told my wife that I heard perhaps 10% of the conversations.  That could cause some "communication problems" . . . perhaps similar to a cartoon going around: Wife: "You need a hearing test !" 
Husband: "Why the heck do I need a hairy chest?" To compensate, there are conversations within my head plus the added benefit of knowledgeable nodding and smiling. And the costs of the hardware?  Just say that I could have provided laptop computers for several family members for what those tiny aural enhancers inflicted on my resources.

    "All in your head": There are the INSIDE THE HEAD factors.  Alzheimers and other forms of dementia are not funny at all.  But for those of us not so afflicted, there are nonetheless Challenges.  Among those is the so-called 'hereafter' affliction.  You know, you enter a room, take a breath and mutter, "What am I here after?" The "I can't find my . . . keys, wallet, glasses, pen, etc." refrain also seems to be sung more frequently.

    "All in your head":  VISION problems are no respecter of age. I have worn glasses for many years.  A few  years ago, I added a new word to my health  repertoire : Cataracts.  Alas, since the procedure, I am still uncertain about which eye received the laser.  And now, I am told that the other eye (which? ) is 'ripe' for laser surgery.  

  "All in your head":  THE NOSE: My brother barely 'old' at 67 has been sneezing LOUDLY for years.  Allergies, he rightly claims. . . Compromised genes from our mother.  But, is there a reason that our sinuses, not always dormant along the chronological journey, nonetheless take advancing years as license to activate?

   "All in your head": TEETH:  I remember a silly ditty from youth: "Some men smile in the evening; some men smile at dawn. But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile when all his teeth are gone."  (I warned you: it's silly.)  Somewhere around age 40, I had all my upper teeth crowned at the then-handsome fee of $200 per tooth.  The cost now is a tad more.  And, implants?  Don't want to put an automobile inside my mouth because the price for the full treatment would equal the cost for a new ride for the dentist.  So, when new challenges recently arose, I  opted for a partial denture.  It's an adjustment.

   To confirm that it's not all ' in the head', my brothers began their orthopedic "challenges" many years ago.  And, my daughter, thirty years younger than I , has had hip and knee issues.  Now that an  X-ray and cortisone injection have confirmed osteoarthritis in my hip, finally I can lay claim to being an 'old hippie' .

     It really isn't for Sissies even when much of it is "in our head".

         Satchel