Jack's 75th birthday was last week. We were undergraduate fraternity brothers back in the 1950's. Then for nine years in the 1990's, I was minister at his home church. I had not seen him in several years. For some unknown reason, he was strongly on my mind that day. So, following an impulse or an intuition, I drove over to his house to say 'hello'. There was no one at home when I arrived but as I was writing a 'sorry that I missed you' note, he and his wife drove up. We visited for a half hour or so and it was then that I learned that was his birthday. It was good seeing him and catching up on personal and family matters. Little of our conversation was around 'the good old days'.
College fraternities receive a lot of 'bad press', much of it deservedly, for transgressions ranging from alcohol abuse to adolescent 'pranks and hijinks'. A nearby university has frequently been in the news for fraternity members allegedly being implicated in a pledge's death. Another endemic criticism has been snobbery and exclusive-ism. Selecting members by the secret ballot method known as 'Blackballing' has inflicted great hurt upon countless youth seeking inclusion.
Periodically, I receive mailings from the national office of my undergrad fraternity. Usually, I do a 'quick read' for any mention of someone whom I might know. Otherwise, it finds a quick home in the recycle bin. Somehow, stories about current members or how old alums are serving as mentors, etc hold no interest. I once knew a man who in his 60's was "Grand President" of the fraternity of his youth. His vanity license plate bore the 'password' of that group. My 'fraternity' were the guys in our local chapter at a specific time and place. In my personal 'archives', I still have the fraternity pin that I wore then. I guess the 'skull and crossbones' had (have) some kind of symbolic meaning. If so, that is long lost in the recesses of my remembering. An undergraduate acquaintance referred to the pin as a 'Jolly Roger', the symbol on pirates' flags with skull and crossbones.
Ours was a small student body where practically all the residential students knew each other. While there were six national fraternities and four national sororities with chapters represented, it was not unusual to have close friends among other 'Greek' organizations besides one's own. We doubtless had our share of the 'silliness' and yet, there were shared times and events that made us glad that we were part of something 'larger' than our own self interest. Toward the end of my Senior year, several guys were seriously injured in an automobile accident while en route back to campus. Four of the Sig Eps were unable to return to classes that semester. I was deeply moved by what had happened and am forever grateful to my 'brother' Charlie (as he was then known) who held me while I sobbed. Fred recently died 50 + years later, supposedly from complications from that ill-fated afternoon.
'Naming Names' can be risky, especially when I rely upon my 76 year old 'remember-er'. But immediately there come to mind:
Reid ('Sunshine'), John, Charlie, Bill, Nesbitt, Fred, Bobby, Ken, Danny, Mickey, Vance, Chetchie ('Big' and 'Little' . . . biological brothers), Jack, Bill Tyson, Shepherd, 'Sweat', Pete, Benny, . . . (No slight intended for omissions.) Three of them are deceased. Of the others, we see each other rarely, if ever, and communicate by email, occasional telephone call, or text. There is a respect and appreciation for our shared past but more importantly, I believe, is the ability to 'meet' in the 'right now'. There have been mumblings about a get-together, or as Ken wrote me last week: "We ought to try and gather for a shindig one of these days before it's too late. You do know what I mean."
Yeah, Sully, I think I do know what you mean.
Satchel
