Strength for Today and 'Hope' for Tomorrow

                                                                   Despite the Odds                                                           

   "Well, I have to go back now to the Eighteenth Century where I live." That was a prominent academic historian saying his good-bye to a colleague. The past can sometimes be an interesting place to visit.  However, escapism provides neither a good nor healthy place to live for extended periods.  For  many persons hurtful  experiences and memories of the past continue to  intrude on their 'right now' and make envisioning a better future difficult. Even so, ignorance of the past (whether willful or otherwise) often creates messy scenarios for present and the future. 

    Quoted more often that practiced, George Santayana's warning still stands: Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.  Seems to make sense that the better we understand the past ---our own and society's -- the greater the possibility that we can live in the now and look forward to the future. 

     An ancient prayer implored, "From ghoulies and ghosties, long-leggitie beasties and things that go Bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!".  Few persons today believe in literal 'ghoulies and ghosties', nontheless they have things from their past going Bump in the night, detracting from  their sense of well-being.  Do you remember the cartoon Calvin and Hobbes ? Calvin often heard things 'bumping' under his bed until his dad brought a flashlight. We, likewise, look for a light to bring our 'Monsters' into perspective so that we don't fall into despair that life is 'going to hell in a handbasket', despite an abundance of examples to the contrary at the moment.  You want specific names for those 'monsters' ?  Check most any day's newsfeed, now or even years ago.  For my birthday a friend once gave me a book made up of the front page of the New York Times for that day and month going 'way back'.  Some of those looked pretty current, scary and bump-in-the nightish.

   Many years ago, Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick, a then prominent minister, preached a sermon that he called "No [one] Need Stay the Way They Are".  In effect he was saying that there is a 'Yet to Come' as well as a 'Back There' and a 'Right Now' and that life can be better. Another word for that is HOPE, hardly the same thing as Pollyanna or 'Wishful thinking' ---the kind of Hope that kept Dr. Viktor Frankl alive in a Nazi concentration camp. (see his book Man's Search for Meaning). 

   Albert Camus writing in the aftermath of World War II contended that all was "Absurd" and without purpose or meaning.  On the other hand, One  dictionary sugests that having HOPE is being able to forsee a path to a better future.  Dr.Martin Luther King, Jr. maintained that "the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends  toward justice". The late psychiatrist, Dr. Gordon Livingston in Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know pointed out that many persons find their Hope from within their religious beliefs and practices. My all-time favorite professor said that he once considered Hope to be icing on the cake of Life but more recently he believed that Hope was the very cake itself, keeping us Alive even in the presence of all that indicates otherwise.  That is congruent with the words of Hymn of Promise. (Google it, if interested) Livingston also indicated that others find their Hope in different places.

   There is a lot of Despair floating around these days.  Is it naive to look for Hope without some idealizing the 'Good Old Days' (which were often Horrible)?

    Where are you looking for/ finding Hope ?

        Satchel

   

"Damn Yankees"

             

    After last night's 4-2 win, the L.A. Dodgers have a 3 game advantage over the New York Yankees in the baseball World Series.  I don't know when or how I came to dislike the Yankees. It even predates my occasional interest in the (often) hapless Boston Red Sox.

   In 1949, the season came down to the final game between the Red Sox and the Yankees. NY center fielder, Joe DiMaggio, told his younger brother, Dom, the Red Sox center fielder, that he was going to win the game for his team. Whereupon Dom replied, "I'll be in that game too".  The Yankees won.

Now long-suffering Boston fans still relish memories of the 2004 playoff when the Red Sox  overcame a 3 game deficit to win the next 4 games from NY. Then they defeated the Cardinals  in   4 straight games.

   Dad's influence made me a St. Louis Cardinal (and Stan Musial) fan. But the dominant team in the 1950's was the "D.Y's".  I remember watching many black and white televised games where Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Vic Raschi, Allie Reynolds,Phil Rizzuto et.al. won with numbing repetitiveness.  And in the mix was Don Larson's no-hitter in '56.  It was during that decade that the book The Year the Yankees Lost the Pennant  was published . And the  following year (1955) the Broadway musical Damn Yankees opened.

     The team that moved from Brooklyn to L.A. has fielded MANY outstanding Players over the years.(See Roger Angell's The Boys of Summer).  The Dodgers and Yankees have faced each other in more Series than any other two teams ---12 times since 1941 (including this year) with New York winning 8. The Dodgers finally won in 1955 and then with the pitching of Sandy Koufax and Don Drysdale in 1965, they swept the Series 4-0.

    A vignette that captures the antipathy that many hold for the Yankees occurred in 1960. Along with many colleagues at Boston University School of Theology, I crowded into the 5th floor tv lounge  to watch the 7th game between the  Pirates and Yankees.  And the place  erupted with cheers when Bill Mazeroski hit his walk off homerun. Five floors down, Professor Booth on hearing the cheering  and clapping told the few students in the classroom, "The  Pirates must have won the World Series. There are not that many Yankee fans around here to make that kind of noise. "

    The Red Sox / Yankee rivalry is probably the most intense among major league teams.  Yet, there have been many 'defectors' over the years. The first (and most famous) was Babe Ruth. Then came Red Ruffin in the 1930's and more recently Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens, Johnny Damon, Jacoby Ellsworth and others that I don't know.

    While my mother admonished me against using 4-letter words, that musical still has a title that resonates.

   Satchel

PS.... "Some of my Best Friends are Yankee fans !"

WINDSHIELDS AND REAR-VIEW MIRRORS

      "I'm going to pay attention to the view through the windshield and not be looking in the rear view mirror."  A client was reflecting on his intended response to his former wife's desertion and decision to divorce.  He used this automobile metaphor to describe how he planned to approach his future ... by looking ahead without undue preoccupation with their past.

     Acknowleding his need for a 'clean windshield' , he further decided that he could not navigate life relying primarily on the mirror of the past.  As a therapist, I think it's necessary to ask whether we can learn from 'what's back there' while avoiding 'living in the past'.  A former church member learned to drive when in her 80's. At her funeral, I said that her always avoiding the reverse gear was the perfect description for how she had lived.

   The Danish theologian, Soren Kierkegaard, claimed that life could be understood only by looking backwards but had to be lived looking ahead.  Maybe that is a good approach. Avoiding 'learning from the past' risks head-on collisions in the present. Car mirrors do warn us that "OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR". Too much nostalgia, a homesickness for the past, can blur and distort reality of the 'right now'.  Having once been an academic historian, I have observed many instances when a longing for 'the good old days' led to disastrous conseqences, for individuals and for entire nations.  Often for their own benefit, individuals and groups deliberately misrepresent matters from the past.  Examples abound in partisan politics, especially around election times.

    Maybe the 'meaning' of windshields and rear-view mirrors has to do with balance --- an honest appraisal of the past and a clear view  of what is ahead of us.

      Satchel

"Maybe it is time you started acting your age"

                   "Maybe it is time you started acting your age"

     Jay's doctor "half jokingly" told him that as he treated the onset of sciatica. Jay has barely passed the age to receive Social Security benefits if he chose to do so. Telling someone to 'act their age' or to speak of 'age appropriate behavior' constitute forms of Ageism: "discrimination where people are mistreated based on their age." (An online definition).  For me, it echoes 'how old is old ?' and if you have seen one old person, you have seen ONE OLD person'. While there seems to be no 'cure' for getting older ('beats the alternative' is the usual quip), stereotyping and condescending words and actions based on age are insulting.  

    'Time to start acting your age' or 'what do you expect at your age ' might mean that it is time to get a new doctor or a new fill in the blank  who shows respect despite the number of birthdays one has celebrated.  

   Yep, I have had 86 birthdays and so has my Orthopedist and we each have skills and abilities that have diminished with years.  Yet, we each continue to practice our professions with a high level of competency.  The same is true for many older persons. Skills that are used tend to remain sharp.

    In her book This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism, Ashton Applewhite wrote of  Global Wrinkling and its many implications. There is an unacknowledged anxiety abroad about getting older that finds 'scapegoats' in order to lessen the reality of one's own eventual mortality.  Bravado, bluster and botox do not long hide the reality of passing time.In an earlier post, I wrote that "old age is not a definite  biological stage. The chronological age designated as old varies culturally and historically."

   Getting older does not mean ageism is acceptable.

          Satchel

Gus

 

                                                             "THAT'S   MY  DAD"

      By now you have probably seen the picture. And, likely are aware  of the mockery that has erupted on social media in response to Gus Walz's expression of  love for his dad.

    One's political affiliation or opinions melt into irrelevance in the face of derision and bullying.  As it happened, he was responding to his father's address at the recent Democratic National Convention.

And, while we later learned that he is "neurodivergent" with special needs, such ought not to have mattered. (According to Wikipedia,  neurodivergent refers to "the unique way that each person's brain develops.  That means it's not preventable, treatable or curable.")  The Rev. John Pavlovitz wrote that Gus Walz's conditions shouldn't matter and that"the mistreatment and bullying he has faced should still be  disgusting and unacceptable to decent people." Furthermoore, he wrote, "it should illicit outrage in human beings of empathy and intelligence." ( Gus Walz is America's Son . . .in The Beautiful Mess, August 23, 2024)

   The 17 year old was showing what real love  looks like. Maybe it's past time to display this kind of warmth and vulnerability, individually and as a nation.

   The worn-out adage that "big boys don't cry" continues to wreak havoc in the emotional well-being of males of all ages.   Toxic masculinity  is one manifestation.  Taboos against tenderness and vulnerability cost many their full range of being human.  As a psychotherapist, I see many of my male clients bravely seeking for healthy ways to be men without the bravado and chauvinism that has stiffled us for so long.  "John Wayne is dead. We need new models for male-ness in the 21st century" is a favorite invitation I use.

    A personal friend reflecting on the special needs of his grand-son said it well and succinctly: "Loving  kindness and  compassion  are what those with special needs desire and deserve."  I believe his observations could be extended to everyone.

     Satchel

    "Don't go near the water until you can swim ! "  Can you swim ? I cannot  --- unless a semi-dogpaddle or a short distance under water qualifies. On those rare occasions that I am in a pool, the shallow end is just fine, thanks.  And the ocean ? well, ankle deep is about the right depth. Was not always like that. As a youth, Sunday fun was going with friends to nearby Pullen Park in Raleigh. And when Mr. Schaub installed a pool at his residence, my brother and I were often invited for a Sunday afternoon swim. I donot have to search very far in the canyons of memories to locate this current (didn't mean to make the pun) aversion . . . I have almost drowned on three occasions, or thought that I might and those traumas were sufficient to keep me on dry land. 

   When I was just 3 or 4 years old, my dad took me with him to the 'municiple beach and swimming' pool in our mill village . . .a spot on the Haw River named the 'Hearn Hole'.  For reasons long forgotten, I  held dad's hand and went under water for just a moment.  And, now 80+ years later I remember opening my eyes and being slightly terrified.

    I have heard that when some folks believe they are dying they have their life flash before their eyes.  When you are just 12 years old, the movie is short. Our Scoutmaster organized a trip to the Raleigh YMCA.  Noting my reluctance to go  into the deep end, he and the Assistant Scoutmaster encouraged me to dive and that they would guarantee my safety.  I jumped and in the brief time before I felt safe, I think I had a 'roll call' of all sins, real and imagined, in my past.    As a college student I somehow passed a PE course in swimming.  In future years, from a short  distance from shore, I joined my children in riding waves on inflatable rafts.  But then . . .                     

    On a family beach trip to celebrate our parents' 50th Anniversary, I had ventured out maybe 50 yards and chest deep with a brother and our daughters. While walking back towards the beach, suddenly I was in water over my head. When I came up, I waved to my other brother for help only to have him wave back to me.  After a few more steps the  realization came that I had stepped into a narrow deep trough. My brother explained that he thought he was returning a friendly gesture.                        The 'Big Scare' occurred when suddenly I was caught in a rip tide. After telling my daughter and her friend not to come near, I asked a stranger for help. After sitting on the sand for a long time, I went briefly back into the surf at a safe depth.  That occurred approximately 40 years ago and since then I am content to sit and watch the sunrise over the Atlantic--- from a safe distance.

   Trying to understand why these thoughts recently came to the forefront, I remembered a scene from a movie we watched last week in which the male lead actor drowned attempting to rescue a person whose sailboat had capsized in a storm at sea. And then a couple of days ago, I was watching a continuing ed video on grief and observed a therapist assisting a father whose 19 year old daughter had drowned.

     The Summer  Olympics have begun and there will be lots of swim events. I will watch with admiration from the safety of my den.

    Perhaps it is fitting that for most of my life, I have been a United Methodist. Rather than total immersion in water, we believe that wetting just the top of the head is adequate.

      Be safe .

         Satchel

       

Paraphrasing Mr. Lincoln in 2024

 

                     

                                  On July 2, 1776, a group of Americans meeting in Philadelphia adopted a document which they subsequently signed two days later.   Benjamin Franklin summarized the danger of their actions: "We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately".  Wikipedia succinctly tells why the actions were dangerous: "The Declaration [of Independence] justified the independence  . . . by listing 27 colonial grievance against King George III and by asserting certain natural and legal rights. What they did from the King's perspective was treason and  punishable by death."

   Fast-forward eighty-seven years and the country was deep into a civil war whose outcome remained questionable.  On July 1-3, 1863, the bloodiest battle of that conflict at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, brought a Union victory. On November 19, 1863, President Lincoln's speech dedicating the battlefield cemetery emphasized  in 271 words what was at stake --- then and whenever Democracy is threatened.  

    In light of recent events and claims, I envisioned a paraphrasing of Mr. Lincoln's words for 2024. 

   "Two centuries and forty-eight  years ago, our Fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the Propositions that all people are created equal, that no one is above the Law and that Americans would not tolerate a despotic King and government.

   Now we are engaged in a chaotic legal struggle, testing whethe that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. . . . The brave people who struggled  to build and secure this nation have hallowed this land, far beyond our poor power to add or detract. The world must never forget what they did here.

    It is for us, the living, to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us. . . that we hereby resolve that those forebearers shall not have lived and died in vain.  That the Nation called the United States of America shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the People, by the People, and for the  People shall nor perish from the earth."

              VOTE !

                             Satchel

               

                     

            

    

   

 

                Pomp and Circumstance, please. 

                Grand-son Cooper receives his diploma from

                   The International School of Stuttgart, Germany

Grand-son Ian receives his diploma from his mom, a teacher in our 

                             local high school.

  Here comes theHigh School Senior Class of 2024!   Seniors ?   But I remember 18  years ago and a lot in between in the lives of two of this year's graduates.  Both refer to me as their grand-father, though by different names.  Cooper is my daughter and son-in-law's son; Ian's mom claims my wife and me as her "second parents".  This blog is an unabashed and unapologetic "let me tell you about my grand-children " post.

   Both are exceptionally gifted young men with diverse interests and talents. They demonstrated one of their earliest 'talents' by delighting in first birthday cakes:

Cooper above

Ian below

       

      Throughout their school years each has achieved academic excellence and recognition. Eight of Cooper's 18  years have been spent in Germany by virtue of his dad's profession.  Along the way, he has become proficient in the German language and his girl friend insists that most of their conversations are in German. His mom told me that last week he had  corrected her German.  Just this week, the German government granted him a life-long resident visa.
    Living  there has provided travel opportunities to visit many places about which I dream.  Last year he spent two weeks at Oxford University in an introductory medical school "camp".  

    While I face challenges with simple computer functions, Cooper has long been building his own.

This Fall he will enroll in the science program at Maastricht University in the Netherlands. Here are a few pictures from his 18 years:

First haircut

Riding hobby horse that had once been mine

The latter was taken on weekend when I baptized him and his sister 

                                   With Nana  

With Cousin Jackson who also graduated this year  

Thanksgiving in NC      

Recent trip to Athens 

    Ian graduated Magna Cum Laude.  Named a North Carolina Scholar, he was among the top 10% of graduates county-wide.  Beyond his academic achievements, he has excelled in other pursuits, including learning to play a banjo, teaching himself to play guitar, learning welding, and most of all being an outstanding baseball player.

    Named his conference's Most Valuable Player in his Junior and Senior Years, this year he made All State first team.  A few months ago, he signed a commitment to play college ball.  Beyond his profession, his dad has a seasonal lawn care service and Ian has long been his valued assistant.

     Here are a few glimpses of his 18 years

                                                   He and Losko are curious about the visitor

                                                               Pitching came early 

      Ian excels as  pitcher, catcher and shortstop as well as maintaining a hefty batting average

  

                       Banjo lessons with former Grand  Ole Opry performer Stan Brown

          Watching a game  with my colleague, Dr. Richard Horn, who pitched in the first ever

                                                 Little League World Series

    "Congratulations" to them and to the graduates whom you know.

     Satchel

Teaching High School ...years ago

                               Helena High School, Timberlake, North Carolina

                                         Grades 1-12 same building

                     I received an invitation to a reunion of the High School Classs of 1967.  Not my own class but one whose members had been my students when  I taught there in 1964-1966.  The email came from Vicki whom I remembered as an outstanding student from US History and French classes.  She has been married for 52 years to Larry, her high school sweetheart. In those times, he was a happy-go-lucky guy who seemed more interested in athletics and 'joking around' than in academics. Both had careers as educators and he was a high school Principal for 16 years and they both retired in 2002 ! In reading her email, I suddenly felt OLD.  How could these 'high school kids' have been married that long and RETIRED ?!  

  For two years at an annual salary of approximately $4000, I taught US History, French I and II and General Math.  Principal G.N. Titus and faculty  provided a solid  academic curriculum.   When I grew a beard, Mr. Titus ignored the Superintendent's 'suggestion' that he tell me to shave. (Remember, this was the 1960's when facial foliage conjured all kinds of reactions)

  Without the aid of my yearbooks that are in storage somewhere in 'the archives',  I have been able to recall lots of names and experiences from those two good years.  I was saddened to learn of the deaths of several.

  While there was an abundance of mischievous high jinks, serious discipline problems didn't occur.  Once when a student seated on the left side of the classroom asked a question and  I moved in her direction to respond, Arthur thinking that I couldn't see him, was poised to deliver a blow to the person in front of him.  What he did not know was that a full length mirror on my supply closet gave me a full view of the pending assault. Without turning my body, I pointed in his direction and said, "Arthur Tillett, sit down !" The look of surprise was priceless.

   Looking back, I am embarrassed about  a prank I sometimes pulled on a student in French I. Asking students to translate phrase that I spoke, I would say to Sam (not his name) what does Je ne sais pas  mean ?" After a long befuddled silence, he would answer "I don't know" to which I responded "Right". I suspect that he never caught on.

    On the other end  of the academic spectrum, only John Timberlake and Kenneth Wolfe accepted my challenge that if anyone would read and pass a test on William L. Shirer's Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, they would not  have to take the final exam.

  Then  there was Pierre (again, not his name). One morning, Mr.Titus asked that   I stay after school to meet with Pierre's father concerning his failing History. Dad greeted me with "These kids say that you are a hard teacher."    "But none can truthfully say that I am not fair", I replied.

With  Pierre sitting to the side with a smirk that threatened, "My daddy is going to clean your clock !", I proceeded to explain my grading system and his son's performance on each. Even now I remember  his final exam grade: 47. The man looked at the record then said, "He just didn't do what he was supposed to, did he !"  "Well, Mr. X, he is your son, but you said it".  Pierre's smirk disappeared when his father stood, shook my hand and sternly said, "Come on, boy !"

   After two years, I enrolled in graduate   school but was happy when I was asked to return as speaker at the next year's Junior-Senior Banquet (younger folks---think "Prom").  

   The high school closed in 1969 and  an elementary school continued for a few more years.  The  building now stands empty.  

   Two great years with many happy memories.

    Satchel

  

  

 

"IF I HAD KNOWN'

           Richard Cory   by Edwin Arlington Robinson

 This poem was in one of my high school literature books.  I think we  had to memorize it. It's an   ironic poem that makes the point  that we should not judge people based on appearances, especially with the unexpected last line .

    "Whenever Richard Cory went down town,

       We people on the pavement looked at him

       He was a gentleman from sole to crown,    

       Clean favored , and imperially slim.

       And he was always quietly arrayed,

       And he was always human when he talked;

      But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

      'Good-morning,' and he glittered when he walked.

     And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--

     And admirably schooled in every grace;

    In fine, we thought he was everything

    To make us wish that we were in his place.

   So on we worked, and waited for the light,

   And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;

   And Richard Cory, one calm summer night, 

   Went home and put a bullet through his head.

They didn't see that coming !  Unfortunately, we often do not see the 'signs' and know  how to respond. There is no 100% guaranteed way to recognize and intervene for the 'Richard Cory's' we meet in life.  Even so, there are ways to be more adept and 'comfortable' in interventions.  Simply asking someone if they are suicidal will not 'cause' them to do so. As a Mental Health Counselor, after asking someone if they were suicidal, I have more than once had them reply,"Thank God. Someone finally asked."   Contrary to common assumptions, suicides spike not around Christmas but in Spring.  So here we are in late April ---full Springtime. If you encounter someone you sense is suicidal ---what do you do? Put your search engine on QPR which stands for Question, Persuade and Refer --"the 3 simple steps anyone can learn to help save a life from suicide." (I make the recommendation  with no ties with QPR. Several years ago, I completed their training.)  Also, 988 is a Suicide Hotline operating 24/7. 

   Again, despite our best efforts, suicides sometimes occur. Still, we can be alert. Larry Pickard has given me permission to include the full text of his poem "Silent Call" :

                   Satchel

  

  

    

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY ?"

 

Well, sometimes Twain's  humor could be a tad "over the top" as  could his choice of words. He could  swear a blue streak to the chagrin of his good Christian wife. Eventually, she decided to put an end to his cussin'. Then one day he nicked himself while shaving and let out a stream of profanity that probably turned the room purple.She promptly repeated to him every word.  Stunned for a moment by her pluck, he recovered, smiled and said,"My dear! You got all the words right, but you don't know the tune !"

   When  I first heard that story, I didn't laugh aloud but I did think it 'funny'. Maybe because of the incongruity of it all.  Humor implies  the comical and absurdity in life. 

   What makes something 'funny' or 'humorous' for you? Or, to use a colloqualism, 'what tickles you?'  For me, it ranges from the slapstick, the 'dad jokes' (ok, well some of them) to the delightful puns. Despite that some nay-sayers deem puns 'the lowest form of humor', I think that they can be either delightfully subtle or blatantly obvious witticisms . There is one making the rounds in anticipation of tomorrow's solar eclipse: " Dad, can you explain a solar eclipse?"  "No sun". (speak it, don't just read it)

   The purposes or functions  of humor are numerous. It often serves as a kind of 'leveling the playing field' with a 'punching up' by those further down the socio-economic or power spectrum. 'Punching down', on the other hand, is cruel and demonstrates baser facets of character.  An example of the former occurred during my high school baseball practice when the coach's car parked on an incline in deep center field began rolling  down the hill. The coach (the authority figure) standing at home plate incredulously exclaimed, "Yonder goes my car !" Norman White (the student playing catcher) began rolling in hysterics. Coach's retort of "Not funny, White !" added to the  laughter.

   'Punching down', on the other hand, implies an attitude of  superiority whether in social status, wealth, race, gender, speech handicaps or physical blemishes.  Those are mockery.

    Recently I heard Garrison Keillor confess that as people get older, they get funnier. Once in my 20's, when   I had three times complimented 90+ year old Mrs. Caviness on her dress, she quipped, "Don't  strain your conscience, young man  ."

   This afternoon when I  told my daughter of my blog idea, she mentioned a Harvard research study on laughter.  Use your search engine to find 'Harvard research studies on laughter' and you will find several good explanations as to why laughter is good for the soul . . .   and for the body also.

     Satchel

Remembering the Kingston Trio

    Maybe it's a generational 'thing'.  A few days ago, a client and  I were talking  about his favorite musical genre and  groups.  When he asked about the groups  that  were popular  when I was his age, I mentioned The Kingston Trio.  I may as well have named something like 'The Neanderthal Nine' or 'The Medieval Hit Parade'.

   What were some of their 'hits', he asked. When I named the Immortal (to my generation) titles of Tom Dooley, The MTA, and Worried Man,  no recognition registered.

   I remembered that conversation this afternoon  when  I was mindlessly scrolling  YouTube and came across  a video of a reunion concert recorded in 1982.  For the next hour or so, I was transported to an earlier time in my life.

   Wikipedia indicates that the original KT "helped launch the folk revival of the late 1960's." There have been various iterations of the group throughout the intervening years.  All the original members ---Dave Guard, Nick Reynolds and Bob Shane ---are deceased but until last year  (and maybe still) a  group has bought the rights to the name and continue to tour.

   I first attended a live concert in Greensboro in the Spring of 1959 when the Trio had become popular.  A fraternity brother and I double-dated (do college  folks still do that?)to attend their tour stop and UNC-Greensboro. Forty years later, Reynolds and Shane and George Grove, returned to Greensboro.  Before the concert, a stage hand brought out a single chair.  In a moment, Reynolds came on using a walker (apparently having had surgery). Before sitting , he surveyed the audience  and quipped, "Damn, you've gotten old!"

  In the intervening years, I attended at least two other concerts. The first  occurred in  Winston-Salem but the more memorable was their gig in the small North Carolina  city of Sanford. My brother and his family and I sat in the second row, perhaps twenty yards from the performers.  This performance came thirty + years since their beginning. In those years, one of the group had added girth to his frame. My brother in the colloquial jargon whispered to me, "Shane is totin' a load". 

    If your generational cohort is similar to mine and you enjoyed the KT or  if you are like the aforementioned  person who had no acquaintance, many YouTube videos await you and  you likely will be able to understand the words. And for  us 'old timers', enjoy  Bob Shane's  version of  Try to Remember.

    Satchel

       

QUIT BEING UGLY !!

 

      

Did you see the news video ...the gathering of politicians which was met by a group of reporters?  Soon  Representative  Virginia Foxx  was shouting "Shut up ! Shut up!"  to one questioning reporter.  The Charlotte  Observer opinion columnist  Isaac Bailey wrote that she "behaved like an 8-year-old on the national stage." He continued, "If Foxx had any political integrity, or integrity of any kind, she would not have shouted 'Shut up !. . . Instead, she joined in with fellow Republicans hissing, booing and unleashing childlike taunts."

  Some would say that she was being "ugly" and  that would not refer to her lack of physical beauty.  Ugly according to my dictionary means things like: disagreable, unpleasant, nasty, offensive, rude and quarrelsome.  Telling someone to "shut up" is generally considered  rude and impolite. Rather like the opposite of being civil or courteous/polite.

Edwin Newman, the late NBC reporter, observed that "the state of the language is a direct reflection of the country".   While his two books, A Civil Tongue and Strictly Speaking, addressed the deterioration of correct usage of speech, evidence abounds for the deterioration of civil discourse --- particularly among politicians and some purported Christians. Inflammatory words and images are tossed around with so much frequency that such coarseness has become the norm. Add to that recipe ad hominem or personal attacks against the character and integrity of those of differing opinions, and the result likely will be today's headline.UGLY !

Perhaps I am being a Pollyanna  to long for discourse , public and private, marked by sentiments and behaviors conveying qualities such as decency, honesty, truth, goodness, respect, integrity, kindness, civility. . . Did a former United States President keep his promise of "I will never lie to you."? Then there was a former Press Secretary who famously told reporters "I will never lie to you. You have my word on that." and immediately violated her promise.  There is often a wide space between  FACT and  OPINION.t

 There exists a strong temptation to disengage, to turn away  when the rhetoric becomes too coarse. In the face of that, I want to resist UGLY and speak with a civil tongue .

  Satchel

  

  

WHAT'S NEW ?

  this font is Rock Salt.  Seems appropriate when evening newscasters show pictures of road crews spreading Salt brine on roadways in anticipation of inclement weather.. has happened only a couple of times this month here in North Carolina. My brother in New Hampshire already has had a couple of "snow events".   January with its cold is almost half over  ; So, a question: how are you doing with your new year's resolutions ?

  I noticed that "Quitting  Day" occurred a few days ago. That  is the presumed date by which new Year's resolutions become discards.

So far, I am sticking with mine:  "make no new Year's resolutions". How are You doing with yours ?

   Just for fun, i did an internet search for the topic.  The most common one (not surprisingly ) pertains to improving  fitness (48%), followed by Improving finances and improving mental health. If i were making one, i 

like "Read more books". Having completed just two, glad i did not commit to that one. The thought of snuggling by the fireside with a good book  on a snowy day does sound alluring .

   Given the 'Fall off the wagon'  outcome for sticking to well-intended January 1st goals,  it's a fair question as to whether  any change can occur.  As a therapist, I am often asked if someone (usually the person asking  the question) can "change".  The quick answer  is that I have witnessed Change and that if i didn't think it possible, at my age, i would not be a therapist. HOWEVER . . . and it's a big  'however' . . . it usually is not quick nor effortless.

   'Transformation'  differs greatly from 'change'. According  to an internet source :"Change is usually a response to something and happens gradually, while transformation  is a deliberate and significant shift".  Don't hear  a  lot about New Year's transformations.

  I have noticed that this font does not make for easy  reading ,  so I am making  a significant  shift:  Never again will i use Rock Salt as a font for the blog .

    HAPPY NEW YEAR !

       Satchel