"I'm not finding much Christmas spirit this year" my client said this week. She suggested that such sentiment was not specific just for her; rather, she sensed a general malaise all around. And she was one of several clients offering their version of the same sentiment. Now before dismissing these as "the perspectives of therapy clients who likely are already feeling anxious and/or depressed", consider that these are high functioning persons not disposed to a jaundiced view of the world. My subjective opinion says that there are fewer Christmas decorations displayed this year.
While everything and everyone is not "Humbug" or "Grinch-y" and "No, no, no !" has not totally displaced "Ho, ho, ho !", something seems, feels different for many this year. "Naughty" children were once threatened with 'lumps of coal' in their stockings. Accordingly, in some quarters, there is a sense that we are all receiving a scuttle bucket full of coal this year.
If this is a pervasive viewpoint, "WHY ?" is such the case this year ? A couple of years ago, Sean Dietrich published a collection of articles in a book entitled The Absolute Worst Christmas of All Time. Coming as it did at the conclusion of the first Covid year, the title likely captured the experience of many. But now, here we are two Christmases out from that horrendous year. Why now the less- than- enthusiasm that many are experiencing, regardless of formal religious identification or not ? And, I acknowledge that I have but partial hunches about Causes and for that matter, Cures.
Among the nominees for causation that I have heard: covid weariness; grief for what and who we have lost; a protracted political nastiness culminating in a recent mid-term election; war in Ukraine; economic uncertainties; diminished sense of safety in the face of mass shootings; loneliness and social isolation. In his novel Littlejohn, Howard Owen has a character lament that "no one should be made to endure Christmas within at least one year of a personal catastrophe." No doubt there are other nominees.
"Is there a balm in Gilead ?" to paraphrase an old spiritual. A long ago comedian often proclaimed, "Don't tell me your doubts. I have enough doubts of my own. Tell me something you believe in!" Or, you might call it HOPE (differing from 'Wishful Thinking') for something that transcends the immediate malaise. Not just, 'pie in the sky in the sweet bye and bye'. Instead, something that fortifies us to deal with the right now without giving way to despair.
Today I read a post about Phillip Brooks, long ago Rector of Trinity Episcopal Church in Boston and later Bishop of Massachusetts. His poem that became "O Little Town of Bethlehem" is still a perennial part of Christmas music. The man's faith embodied both contemplation and action. Two lines in that song have offered Hope in the lives of many: "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight" referencing the Christ event; and, "O come to us, abide with us, our Lord Emmanuel". Many people have seen and experienced ugly & hateful expressions of religion so much so that they are skeptical at best and downright dismissive at worst of the entire business, whether Christian or otherwise.
Something seems to be missing this year. What do you think it is and what is needed ?
Satchel
I've also noticed the difference in "Christmas" cheer this year . For myself, it's because I lost my dear mother after 6 years of taking care of her. I'm planning on spending Christmas Eve and day at home, alone. Just me and my 2 fur babies. My choice. I do not feel like celebrating at all. I have visited my sons already and they may not like the thoughts of me spending Christmas Day alone, they respect my wishes. I do think that the general public is just tired. The past 2 years have taken their toll on everyone. We've lost too many loved ones, lost jobs, and sickness galore. There seems to be no "good news" on T.V. anymore. Political hatred is everywhere! I've never seen politics this bad ever! With so much bad going on in the world, I wonder if people are doubting God's existence! Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth.
ReplyDeleteChristmas is a wonderful time for us still and though our home is no longer filled with the scores of friends and relatives we hosted in the past several decades during Christmas day and the days before and after, we still welcome those who come. My heart is full of joy from knowing and celebrating Christ and His birth. Invite someone over for dinner or a luncheon after Church on Sunday. You will be amazed how wonderful you will feel and you will become a closer friend than before. There are many people and things that are missing from my life now but Christmas is still full of Joy for me. Blessings, Bruce
ReplyDeleteWhile I generally agree with many of the observations Barbara made, I also disagree strongly with others.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I hear someone say something like, “I never remember when this or that has been so bad, ...,” it almost always is a consequence of a faulty memory ... or, perhaps, someone so young that they don’t recall some of those bad days from the past. While few are now around to recall World War II - a time when we had some pretty decent worries - quite a few of us can recall the Cold War of the late 1940s and 1950 and the Army-McCarthy hearings. I’m old enough to recall practicing “duck and cover” - an attempt to make civilians feel good because any actual nuclear blast nearby would have resulted in our all being crispy critters.
And need I mention those “great times” when the United States was split down the middle over Vietnam or desegregation?
It’s easy to convince ourselves that yesterday was great and everything is going to the dogs today.
But ignoring the unreliable nature of memory, I think that her comment about being tired also has merit. I think that there are two distinctly different ways once can celebrate the completion of anything, including the end of the year. In a “normal” year, Christmas time is an overlay on our normal day-to-day events and it has that party aspect to it. But while there is still significant illness across the nation, I think there is a general feeling of relief ... a feeling when people are not so much interested in jumping up and dancing on tables, but, instead, a feeling that we survived and now it is time to recharge our batteries.
Perhaps this is clearer to me than some because my father, my grandfather and one of my uncles and one of my aunts had jobs that created heavy demands on them due to the Christmas holiday. The arrival of December 25th allowed them to exhale ... another challenge met. When we all gathered at my grandparents Christmas night, while most were ebullient, those folks were generally quiet. I distinctly recall one year when my father and I walked home, leaving our car so my mother could drive home later. Dad was in good spirits, but calm. He was glad to get home ... and go to bed. That was his celebration.
So what was it that Dicken's said, "These are the best of times, these are the worst of times," or something to the effect.
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