Saturday, November 6, 2021

"IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING . . .

 




  . . . YOU WILL PROBABLY END UP SOMEWHERE ELSE" .  So wrote Dr. David Campbell in his 1974 pop-psychology book.   Lewis Carroll (he of Alice in Wonderland) made a similar observation with "if you don't know where you are  going, any road will get you there."

   Allegedly, males do not ask for directions even when hopelessly 'disoriented'.  I found the above card in a stationery shop in California . . . all the way across the continental U.S. from our home.  The irony is that  the directional sign points to two towns in our county with state road numbers.  It might  be 'fun' to free associate and imagine a story that describes what is going on in that picture.

    Unless our intention is simply to "ramble", having a destination is assumed in our travels.  Parallels ? Some might say that such is a metaphor for the 'journey' called LIFE.   Many books, gurus, therapists, motivational speakers, etc. proclaim the importance of GOALS ( read, 'destinations') if one is to live a happy, fulfilling, 'successful' life. 

   I am beginning to think that  too rigid an adherence to goals we set at one stage of life may no longer fit at another stage.  In my office,  I have  a pair of bookends featuring my baby shoes embronzed. (Such was the tradition for many of my parents' contemporaries.)  When a client's early goals no longer fit their current situation, I put those shoes alongside those I am wearing to suggest  ways that life changes and we grow. Most folks in Western society wear shoes but sizes change.

    What is the alternative to drift ?  I would nominate things such as 'guiding principles', resiliency, and  growth. Occasionally, we encounter 'detours', reorientations, 'redirecting' on the trip.  Several years ago, I and several colleagues were 'downsized'  ostensibly for budget reasons by the college where I was a tenured professor. In time I reached an out of court settlement with the school for their violation of personnel policies. Fast forward five years . . . in a pro forma interview for the second part of a clinical program, I was asked, "What are your goals for five years from now?".  The words virtually spoke themselves: "Five years ago, I could not have seen myself here today. I have learned to plan as much as possible, put myself in favorable positions, and trust the remainder to Divine  Providence."  Unplanned alliteration.

   For sure, I have had several periods of drift; still, I am grateful that the overall trajectory has been consistent.  The late Grady Nutt titled his memoir So Good So Far.  I still don't know the details of the 'next steps'.  How about you ? 

    Satchel







   

   

   




        

4 comments:

  1. I have had a great life ... but much of it might be viewed as a detour - and mighty happy they happened. Dead on!

    ReplyDelete
  2. The other day, someone told me that I needed to be with people and I agreed but then later I thought: she thinks everyone needs to be with people but maybe I am on another grid and I do not need to be with people. I need to plan and then wing it, hate regiment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you don't know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?
    Corkey

    ReplyDelete