Or so sang Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. "I'm so sick of words . . . show me". Then there is the ditty learned long ago, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones; but words will never harm me !" Now, to some degree, we have choice in how we respond (rather than react) to words spoken with hostile intent to or about us . There is some truth in the aphorism that 'What Saint Peter tells you about Saint Paul tells us more about Saint Peter that about Saint Paul."
I often heard the admonition (not necessarily always addressed to me ) that we were to 'keep a civil tongue in our mouths'. The late journalist, Edwin Newman, long ago urged such in his book, A Civil Tongue. Civil Discourse defined by Wikipedia is "engagement in conversation intended to enhance understanding [emphasis added]". So I searched for a couple more definitions to learn the accuracy of my understanding : civil & profane. Civil means "polite, courteous, and well-mannered". Profane by contrast means treating something sacred [like persons] with irreverence, disrespect, abuse or contempt.
Insults rank among the more hurtful of words. I went to an online dictionary and found this for 'insult': "speak to or treat with disrespect or scornful abuse." Synonyms include "be rude to, disparage ... malign ... call someone names ...hurt,humiliate,wound ". Insults typically, then, carry contempt and disgust with the probability that these create yet more conflict rather than a prospect for reconciliation.
Yet one more 'definition', Verbal abuse: (also known as verbal bullying) "is described as a negative defining statement to or about the victim . . . thereby defining the target as non-existent. . . . Anger underlies, motivates and perpetuates verbally abusive behavior. " In over a quarter of a century as a therapist, I have observed many of the ill effects of verbal abuse on the human spirit.
As an historian as well as a therapist, I am not so naive as to believe that verbal warfare, insults, curses levied towards those deemed 'inferior', disrespect, etc. are recent arrivals in society, particularly American society. I do believe that more recently the vitriol and venom come rolling out of our mouths and actions with a ferocity that is more than troubling with a presumed 'end game' to be more divisive than to 'enhance understanding'. [see above re 'Civil Discourse'] 'Where two or three are gathered together, there is potential for disagreement'. But for there to be 'winners' and 'losers' . . . , even eradication of the 'losers'! We are in another 'time zone' and , Toto, 'this isn't Kansas'. And, 'actions speak louder than words' in how we treat others.
I think it was Otto Von Bismarck, the German politician of the 19th century, who originated the phrase "Might makes Right".
If that is true, then God help the underdog, the disfranchised, the minority, those whom Jesus called 'the least among you' who were to be treated with respect, kindness, and equality.
Satchel
