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| "Old" as "long time" and not necessarily "aged" Sometimes, however, the terms may very well be synonymous. |
Last week my telephone buzzed with an heretofore unknown (to me) function . . . using something called "Messenger", it is possible to have a face to face virtual chat with someone. So, unaware of that option, I missed the first couple of incoming calls from my friend of many years, Ben aka Benjucho.
In the late 1950's, he had traveled from his home in LaPaz, Bolivia, to the North Carolina college where we met during his sophomore year.
Within a short time, we became friends and he often went with me on week-end visits to my parents' home and he became their fourth "son".
While an undergrad, Ben played on the school's varsity tennis team.
He and his roommate, Gary, lived in a gym dorm room in exchange for minor custodial tasks there. Ben provided 'half-time entertainment' as he pushed the big mop across the basketball court. Much of the 'social life' and activities on campus emanated from the ten "Greek" organizations---six national fraternities and four sororities. Ben and I became members of different groups, but our friendship remained strong.
Memories of three of his visits to our home remain vivid. I will tell the most personally painful one first and save 'the best for last'. Somehow in my misguided youth I had become a fan of Duke University athletic teams. My dad, two brothers and Ben were strong supporters of UNC football. On Thanksgiving Day, November 21, 1959, before a nationally televised audience, Duke on their home field was the heavy favorite, having defeated the UNC team in 8 of the 9 preceding games. In our house pre-game there was good-natured banter about possible outcomes. After Carolina scored on their first three possessions things went downhill quickly for Duke. Then UNC returned the opening kick-off of the second half for a 93 yard touchdown run. Duke eventually lost 50-0 ! I do not remember details of our subsequent conversation but I was definitely outnumbered.
One Saturday after his enrollment in a PhD program in Chapel Hill, he came walking up my parents' driveway, having hitchhiked a ride there. He had planned a surprise visit to show us his new Volkswagen but, unfortunately, he had a single car mishap en route. After determining the he had no injuries, dad drove him to the accident scene.
In time, he acquired another automobile but that was a day of 'might have beens'.
During undergraduate years, Ben's dad, a Bolivian Methodist minister, visited from LaPaz and my parents hosted them in their home for part of that time. Speaking no English and our being able to use only a few Spanish words, he relied on his son for translation . The local newspaper editor interviewed him and that was "front page news " in our little town. Dad drove us throughout the area, visiting UNC and Duke, touring the State capitol and other places that interested our visitor. And mom prepared several dishes of 'Southern cuisine'; however, I remember his being less than enthusiastic about the fried frog legs.
After earning his PhD in biochemistry, Ben completed his training to be a physician. After many years in practice, he retired and moved close to his adult children, first in Florida and now in California.His parents and siblings who lived in Bolivia are now deceased; however, over the years, he periodically visited them there.
Ben on one his trips to Bolivia
In those intervening 60+ years since his graduation, we have seen each other intermittently. The conversation always flows easily between 'reminiscing' and the 'right now'. My life has been enriched by his friendship.
There is a reminder that "it takes a long time to make old friends".
A favorite book is Dear Old Man: Letters to Myself on Growing Old by Dr. Charles Wells. Regarding friendships, he wrote that aside from good health and family, "friendships are probably the most valuable assets a person can take into old age. . . . I now believe that friendships attain their full richness only in old age ." (page 102)
Here's to you, Dugger !
Satchel
