"Son, I don't know where Pittsboro is but I'll give you a ride if you have some identification." Whereupon, I, who had been holding a sign for my destination while standing alongside U.S. Route 64 in the little town of Ramseur, N.C., brought out my picture-less driver's license. The gentleman in the car with the Alabama tags must have been satisfied because in less than an hour he dropped me off right in front of my parents' house.
That 'hitch' was but one of many that I hailed in the four years (1956-1960) that I was an undergraduate in a college about 60-70 miles from home. Even before that, I had 'stuck up the thumb' in order to travel. My earliest memory of that mode of transportation occurred when dad and I hitchhiked the 15 miles or so to another town in order to pick up a new truck for his dry cleaning route. As a high school senior, needing dental work at a time when dad was unavailable, I 'thumbed' the 15-20 miles to Dr. Milliken's office and then back home.
Once upon a time, a serviceman in uniform had little difficulty securing rides. Late one Sunday afternoon, dad drove me the 35 miles or so to the Charlotte highway. Eventually, a kind soul
took me to that city. By then, it was dark and I was still some distance from base. Someone I knew in Charlotte gave me a ride to the bus station and I made it back to avoid being AWOL.
After leaving the Army, I hitched from Durham, N.C., to Washington to spend time with a former seminary classmate. My next hitching destination, however, was the Port Authority Terminal in NYC and from there by bus to a friend's home in Rhode Island. On the return trip, I flew back to DC to spend a few more days. The ride I hitched back to NC was with a driver who when he learned that I had been to seminary asked if I 'had noticed that Biblical prophecy was coming true ?" When I said "No", there was little conversation til we reached NC.
During the era of the Great Depression and World War II --- when money, cars, tires, gasoline were often in short supply --- hitchhiking was commonplace around here. Wikipedia defined hitchhiking as "a means of transportation that is gained by asking people, usually strangers, for a ride in their automobile or other vehicle. A ride is usually, but not always, free." In my youth, it was also termed 'Bumming a ride.'
Now, 'thumbers' are seldom seen. Among the 'reasons' sometimes cited are a proliferation of car ownership, the interstate system of highways, and perceived dangers. For me, I stopped picking up folks after reading the true scene in Truman Capote's In Cold Blood where a garrulous traveling salesman barely avoided being murdered by his two passengers who were on the run after killing a family in Kansas. The driver had stopped to give a ride to a third passenger. Capote later sought out that driver to tell him how close he had come to losing his life.
Now when I see the occasional extended thumb, I remember times when I did then what I will not do now. Did you, do you, ever 'thumb a ride' ?
Satchel
September is "Suicide Awareness Month". Every day is a time for awareness and attention. We still await knowledge of the impact of Covid-19 on suicide. However, as the Johns Hopkins Psychiatry Guide reported "previous pandemics have been associated with increase in suicide rate" and "The Covid-19 pandemic exacerbates multiple factors that may increase suicide". In light of that, I am reposting an entry from a few years ago.
SUICIDE
There's the word,
the anxiety provoking word,
the monster word
that we fear to say.
It's a taboo word and we use all kinds and sorts of euphemisms to avoid speaking it: "Are you planning to harm yourself?"; "You're not going to do anything to yourself, are you?"
And, by the way, asking someone if they intend to kill themselves has been shown neither to plant the idea nor to 'cause' someone to do so. Quite the opposite. On more than one occasion when I have asked the question in straightforward manner, the response has been something like, "Thank God someone finally asked !"
Deaths by suicide of 'celebrities' has been the news recently. But, grimly, it is a Public Health issue that impacts persons all across the socioeconomic spectrum. Between 1999 and 2016 deaths by suicide increased by 30 % and suicide is now the # 10 cause of death in the United States.
"Why?" is a usual question and there seem to be many "answers". Not all those who took their lives by suicide had known mental health issues. Major Depression while still a huge risk factor hardly accounts for all the misery. Among the reasons sometimes offered are: to escape pain; not to be a burden on family and friends; purposelessness; financial pressures; relationship tumult; military deployment and trauma being among those often cited. White males with firearms are the demographic that has the highest death toll.
Dr. Richard A. Friedman in a June 11, 2018, New York Times column wrote, "The simple reason suicide has been neglected for so long is stigma. . . . It is wrongly seen as a character or moral flaw --or even a sinful act. . . . We should declare war on suicide--just as we've done with other public health threats like H.I.V. and heart disease -- and give it the research and clinical funding needed to beat it."
Crisis hot lines have experienced a huge spike in calls since the latest headlines. Skills in spotting and addressing potential suicidal situations while obviously anxiety producing can be learned.
Among the more accessible competence building programs that I have known are Living Works based in Alberta, Canada, but with educational programs over wide geographic areas and QPR (abbreviation for Question, Persuade and Refer). More information about these programs can be found by an internet search.
The national suicide hotline is reached by dialing 1-800-273-8255 (TALK). Also, texting "Talk" to 741741 puts a person in touch with help.
While some persons may believe that they are a burden and believing their being gone would make life easier for their survivors, the truth is to the contrary.
Several years ago, I attended the memorial service for a friend whose depression had resulted in his death by suicide. During the service, several persons expressed the hope that his soul was now at peace. His adult son later expressed his anger and hurt in saying, "He might be at peace but I would like to dig him up and kill him!"
To anyone inclined to "end it all", the plea is simple:
"DON'T DO IT , PLEASE !"
Satchel
